The Story of Why and How

From our cousin, Megan: Don't know how I missed it, but what's the story behind how you became aware of Danil in the first place? I'd love to hear that one.

And I'd love to answer it!  This will be long, though:

Sooooo...4 years ago this coming April, Chase rocked our world with his extra chromosome, and I turned to the blogging community to find stories about other families, other moms, other children with Down syndrome.  Somewhere along the line, I found The Zoromski Chronicles, about an awesome family who had a sweet daughter, Ruby, about Chase's age, who happened to have Ds, too.  The Zoromskis became part of my "blog family" along with a few others that I follow (Not stalk.  Follow!) 

In kind of the same fashion, I came across Reece's Rainbow, an International Down Syndrome Orphan Ministry.  Many of the Ds bloggers are connected to it, and I spent time reading the many stories of children just like Chase who live in countries that don't yet see the potential in children with Down syndrome, or simply don't have the resources to help them thrive.  50 years ago here, there was a huge social stigma attached to children with disabilities, and parents were encouraged to place their babies in institutions straight from the hospital rather than take them home.  Thankfully, the United States has moved past that place, but others have not.

As Chase's mom, I cannot imagine giving up on a child because he is not what you thought he would be.  I understand the shock, the worry, the fear...but to leave him...?  But all I did was hope that someone would find these children loving homes, with families that would realize their joy.  Because certainly, we had our hands full with our two (before Gavin!) and we didn't have the money to put towards an adoption.  We weren't those kind of people.

Little did we know that our lives were being lined up in such a way to reveal that we were those kind of people.

Enter the Zoromski family again, whose plate had been even more full than ours was (seriously, read their family blog!)...and they announced that they had committed to adopt Lilya, from the Ukraine, through Reece's Rainbow.  You can read about their adoption journey here.  I watched them as they did the impossible, cried tears of joy with them, got outbid several times on their blog auction (but I finally won!), and celebrated with them as they brought Lilya home- forever.  I blame Michelle for planting the seed, watering it, and giving it sunlight.

Maybe extraordinary things do begin with ordinary people.

And after that, when I browsed RR, the feeling of wishing to gather up all those kids and bring them home wasn't so unfounded.  And my vision narrowed a bit, and I don't know why, but it landed on Danil.  I can't tell you exactly why he caught my eye...or how I decided that he is the one.  There is just something about his little face and his bio that told me that he belonged in our family.  His energy is Maddex boy energy- affectionate, spunky, awesome...I just know it, and I was drawn to him.

Bryan thought I was nuts.  He actually laughed at me when I told him in the car after church one day.  And I had to remind him that there have been times when he had crazy ideas and I never said that they were impossible.  So he agreed to keep an open mind about it.

I tried, oh I tried not to badger him about it.  Adoption is a big deal, and my family is a big deal.  If Bryan's heart wasn't completely in it, then it is not to be.  So I mostly left him alone about it (okay, I dropped hints every once in a while to make sure he was still thinking about it).  But I totally accepted that if he wasn't IN and IN all the way, it was ok.

Because in all honesty, I think that our family is just about perfect in every way.  Now that Guy is becoming one of the big boys, it is all getting easier.  Sure, when we go out, we have to chase children in 3 different directions, but that is MUCH easier than chasing 2 children in different directions while nursing a newborn.  Life is good.  Life is easy(ish).  It is not because of an emptiness in my heart that I feel we need Danil...it is because of a fullness.  We have more to give.

Bryan sat on this for months.  Over and over I heard messages that applied to us...from church, from other families.  I waited and prayed for guidance and patience, and read more and more blogs about other adoption journeys.  AND I kept my eye on Danil :)

In November he told me he was very close to saying yes.

In January, he got a phone call from a co-worker who would be working at his branch soon.  He asked about her holidays, she told him that she had been visiting her family in the country that he is in.  Bryan revealed to her that we had been thinking about adopting from there, and she told him that she and her family often visit and donate things to the orphanages there.  She had first hand stories of the babes there and the conditions...and later, as Bryan was telling me this, we wondered if we didn't say yes now, would God send someone to physically smack him upside the head next?

He asked me what we needed to do next to get Danil home.

Then we squirmed for 3 days at the enormity of this decision.  And all the dark little what-ifs snuck into our heads...but every single what-if was trumped by saving this child's life...this child who we were being called to.  Those 3 weird, hazy, see-saw days were followed by Sunday, when a giant feeling a peace beyond our capabilities just settled on our hearts, and we knew that we could do it.

So we made the leap of faith and said YES out loud, and how strange and wonderful and terrifying that word was.

And here we are :)